Modern Folly
Do you remember Gak? It’s that neon mucus slime that kids loved to gross each other out with. Nowadays, it comes packaged little plastic cylinders called Flarp. Plunge your fingers into the goo and melodious farts noises will fill the air. Kids giggle. Adults (like me) chuckle. It’s plain good fun. When used for its designed purpose, Gak/Flarp is perfectly harmless.
Well, many years ago, my two girls decided to pull the slime out of its containers and run around the house experimenting with different uses. I was fine with it. I want to encourage creativity. I want them to “think outside of the plastic cylinder.” My oldest, Selah, then took it to a new level by stretching the slime into a long thin line creating a path throughout our home. It took several minutes to work it up off our laminate floors and area rugs.
I was standing in the kitchen when my youngest daughter came up to me crying. It’s not an unusual event. Crying is sort of a hobby for three-year-olds. So I turned casually to see what the new hullabaloo was. That was when I saw something very unexpected.
My eyes widened as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. “Haven Alethia (pronounced Alaythia)! Why did you do that!?” Perched in her dark brown hair was a thin rope of fluorescent pink Flarp encircling her noggin. Selah took one look and went off screaming to Mommy. I stood there…frozen…admiring how the Flarp and her hairy scalp wove together in perfect harmony. And I knew – as only fathers of two young girls know – this was going to be drama. A new level of drama.
Over the next hour, Haven’s mom and I methodically untangled the slime from her hair. You might be wondering how one gets Gak out of a child’s hair. Here are the essential ingredients: patience, a screaming child, vegetable oil, and a comb for lice eggs. Followed by a thorough bath. Oh, and more crying because the Flarp is being thrown away.
It turns out, Haven was trying to make a “headband” with the Gak. It also turns out, Gak does not make an effective headband. This is where imagination crosses a line. Creativity was not meant to bring unwanted drama into my home. What I’m saying is that creativity is different than foolishness.
Wisdom Literature in the Bible (Proverbs, Job, Ecclesiastes, and some Psalms) says a lot about fools. Here’s one of my favorites: A fool trying to say something wise is like a drunk trying to pick a thorn out of his hand. (Prov. 26:9)
I’m obviously not saying my daughter is a drunkard or a fool. She was 3. She had a good neurological reason for not being wise. Her brain had not developed high cognitive faculties yet. But imagine her saying this: “But daddy, I really wanted to expand the Flarp’s potential. And I really wanted a headband. Why not? Don’t put limits on me! I’m a bird, I’m meant to fly! But in the meantime, could you please remove this slime from my hair because it’s starting to hurt.”
Does that not sound a like a drunk person trying to pull a sticker out of his thumb? Utter foolishness. Foolishness is never more evident than when we take something designed for a specific purpose – and especially when there are clear warnings on the box that say NOT to use them inappropriately – yet we pervert their use for our own pleasure. Be it sex, or cheeseburgers, or work, or bourbon, or whatever. We stubbornly utilize them beyond their good purpose. Words are wonderful things, except when they’re used to harm. Anger is a holy emotion, except when it manifests as violence. Critical thinking is a God-given gift that helps lead us to truth, except when it sours into cynical nihilism. The fool trades beauty and joy for indulgence and addiction. It’s a lesson I’ve personally had to face. Trust me, it’s no fun acting a fool.
In the end, I knew my daughter would grow up. One day, she wouldn’t want to adorn her hair with a floppy pink tiara. She would eventually know better. Spoiler Alert: she has been Gak-free for almost 10 years now.
Three-year-olds rightly get some grace. But what about adults? The hard truth is that as we age, personal responsibility becomes more relevant. It’s like what Theodore Roosevelt once said: “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”
If that doesn’t sound like a fool, I don’t know what does.