Hygge and “Trib”: The Hunger for Comfort and Intimacy

The Danish/Norwegian word “hygge” roughly translates as cozy or contented. It describes a state of warm comfort and conviviality. We know the feeling, even if we don’t have the English equivalent term: a meal with friends and family, a warm fire with wool socks and a blanket, peaceful music in a room with comfortable furnishings and warm yellow lighting.

I’ve thought lately about great moments I’ve shared with friends and family. These moments are usually comprised by groups of ten to twenty people, often at a house party or reunion. Multiple conversations are going on at different spots in the house. Laughter envelops one room, an intellectual conversation another, and drunken game-playing the next. I find myself feeling safe, included, appreciated, and intrigued. Time passes without my noticing it. Anxious thoughts are long gone.

Could this be the kind of tribal intimacy that we need and love? There is sexual intimacy between two partners. That is a dyadic intimacy. Then there is group intimacy, which I label polygonal intimacy. It’s multidirectional, the kind in which I may not be the object of attention, but nevertheless feel inextricably part of something strong, warm, and comforting. I’m working on a word for this experience. For now, “trib” will have to do. I want to live a life full of trib. I want others to value trib as much as I know their deep down animal instinct does. We humans are strong in small groups. We’re safe there, clever there, creative there, overjoyed there. Seek out some trib as soon as you can!!