One Time, I Met Stormy Daniels
I was at a birthday party for one of my daughter’s friends. They were in Kindergarten together. I didn’t really know this friend’s family, but it was my turn to take my daughter to the next thing so I buckled up and drove my 6-year old to a place called Jump Street. Imagine a land of trampolines and sprained ankles. You get the picture.
After checking in and signing the appropriate waivers, I sat down at a long table next to the little ones play area. While the kids were frolicking, I made acquaintances with the father of the birthday girl. He was a friendly man. I told him about my work as a pastor, he told me about his work in the world of entertainment - primarily music if I remember correctly. I just remember him saying something about his distribution company and Taylor Swift. Now this was 10 years ago, but her name already had star power. So I was impressed.
Apparently, he was friends with a lot of different people in the entertainment industry. I thought he was pretty cool. And my daughter was having a blast. So I didn’t mind too much that I was drinking Hawaiian Punch out of a Solo cup and developing cavities on the spot.
Then another couple entered with their daughter. The young gentleman and the girl both went directly to the jump area. The woman sat down with me and with the father of the birthday girl - she obviously knew him as they started exchanging pleasantries. There was something about her. While she wasn’t wearing makeup, she was definitely pretty. And, she was clearly comfortable with her body as she was wearing the kind of clothes that I usually see fit women wearing at the gym.
We started talking, and I felt my brain trying to put some puzzle pieces together. I recognized her, but the context of screaming kids and birthday cake was making it hard for me to make the connection. She told me her name was Stephanie, but that didn’t help. Then she was complaining how a bag of hers got stollen in Deep Ellum (a neighborhood in Dallas). Apparently, in the bag she had several video tapes with the original footage of a movie she was working on and needed it back. As I was listening to her relay this story to my new acquaintance, some of the details started to coalesce.
The video had sensitive footage
The police investigation were embarrassed by the content of the videos
One officer actually asked her if she went by a name other than Stephanie
And then it hit me. This was Stormy Daniels. Yes, I’ll admit that I knew her name before the Trump scandals. I mean, she went mainstream in her appearance in Steve Carrell’s 40 Year Old Virgin! It turned out those video tapes were for a late night Skinemax movie that she had directed and produced. All the pieces came together.
Her boyfriend meandered over and we had a lovely conversation. They apparently lived in a small city east of Dallas. They were really into horses - like competing with them - and they were also very expensive. The boyfriend laughed, “yeah, they eat money.”
Not much of note happened after that other than a fun conversation with the father of the birthday girl once they both left. He looked at me, “Stephanie is her real name, but most know her as Stormy.” I nodded, not sure I wanted to reveal to this new acquaintance that I have, in fact, seen some porn in my days. He then told me a story of how his wife and some other couples often hang out with Stormy and her partner. When others approach his wife asking how she can be okay with her husband’s friendship with Stormy, she just smiles. “Stephanie is a sweety! She’s just doing a job,” she reasoned.
It was a twilight zone moment. You ever had one of those? Well, that was one. The reason it was a twilight zone moment is that at the time, I was attending a 12-step program for men and women struggling with watching pornography. So the first phone call I made when I left Jump Street was to my sponsor. “You’ll never guess what just happened!”
Sidenote: As grateful I am to those friends I made in those rooms, I do not attend a 12-step group anymore. I also do not believe that I am an addict anymore. I do believe that I am a human who struggled with typical addictive behaviors (everyone has their version be it fried food, social media, excessive exercising, nicotine, or trying to control the people in their lives via manipulation and intimidation - yes, that is an addictive behavior in my book!). Thankfully, I am in a relationship with my partner who doesn’t see my humanity as an attack on her sense of self. That’s another topic for another day. :)
Ten years removed from that incident, I see ol’ Stormy in the news now. Apart from the bizarre nature of a former President blustering his way through a long line of lawsuits, I smile. I think about Stephanie who, like Trump, was an opportunist. She was born with a certain kind of body and eventually found herself using that asset to make a career. Some may judge her for her choices, but not all do. Later, after her hard work and accomplishments, she caught the eye of a rich and famous man. I do not doubt that Donald Trump propositioned her. Some do. I don’t. I doubt he was the first or last to proposition her. The #metoo movement has proven the regularity of these matters when it comes to men in power. So what does she do? She says yes to this famous man. As I said, like Trump, she’s an opportunist.
It’s hard for me to find empathy for a man like Donald Trump. I’ve seen people who have been cut from the cloth he comes from. His privileged perspective. His cunning ability to manipulate others. His lack of conscience when it comes to what his pursuit of power costs others. I have never seen a single ounce of genuine compassion flow from that man. I’m sure compassion has flown at some point, but probably only to forgive his daughter for not snuggling with him in bed (see the many sexualized comments he’s made about her).
It’s not hard for me to find compassion for Stephanie. She made her money, for sure. Then she moves to rural Texas, raises a daughter, enjoys her horses, and like most celebrities who find their spotlight is fading, she tries to squeeze some attention and security out of a situation. Trump wasn’t just a John, he became the President! Did she need to pursue these charges with Trump? Nope. Does she have reasons other than money for pursuing these charges? Probably. Still, I would bet my whole life that Trump has done what Stormy is doing a hundred times over. That man has played the legal system for decades…and he’s honestly a genius at it.
Reportedly, Stephanie attended some of her court appearances with a bullet-proof vest. Sadly, the enemies of Trump are far less likely to own rifles than the supporters of him. And he knows it. And I think he uses that to his advantage. Like I said, he’s an opportunist.
Listen, I don’t “hate” Trump. He’s just a guy in a long list of powerful men in history who have temporary holds on power. What I hate is what Trump has done to confuse us as a society. I hate how his tactics mixed with our already messed up political climate have scrambled our brains and made us less loving, and more judgmental. I hate that people like Stephanie found their way into that weird system of money and power and now are trying to tell their truth in the face of physical danger. Supporters of Trump might argue that she should bow out and disappear. But these same supporters would never suggest that Mr. Trump should step down and let other capable people lead. In my opinion, her actions are to be applauded. It’s true bravery in my opinion. I saw her daughter. I saw how she loved and cared for her. I witnessed a rather down-to-earth person who wasn’t interested in making a fuss. Yet, she is making a fuss. And I must admit, I’m a sucker for underdogs taking on the man.