Matthew Perry Died and Stuff
I was perusing the social(s) today and slowly realized that a celebrity died. RIP Matthew Perry. First off, I liked Friends. Second, I was never really a big fan. I was more of a Seinfeld guy.
The reason I didn’t realize he had died was largely because my entire weekend was enveloped with my wedding. My second wedding. I am a divorced man who has faced pain and practiced resilience and currently count myself lucky to have found a beautiful woman who loves me for who I am - as opposed to who she would prefer me to be. Honestly, it was an exhausting weekend filled with family traveling from out of town, hundreds of logistical details to be worked out, and the pressure of creating a magical environment for the people I care about (I did that last one to myself). AND, it was a magical weekend. I am a fortunate man. I know it.
So as I was scrolling, I saw Mr. Perry pop up several times as I was selfishly devouring the comments people made about the photos I had posted about my wedding. I mean, how dare this celebrity steal my thunder with his passing! Listen, I know he was a successful actor. Well, actually I don’t know him for anything other than Friends. Still! I know he was the star of a TV Show. Mmmm…not THE star, per se, but he did share a five-pointed-star stage with four other stars. That sound fair?
Sorry, I can get a little grumpy about how obsessed our society is with shallow things. I think Matthew would agree with me. I read a quote - one of the many posts I encountered - where he would have preferred people to know him for his work of addressing alcoholism. That is, addressing his alcoholism, and hope for others struggling with substance abuse. But he confessed that it was unlikely that our culture would remember him for anything more than being the affable (eventual) boyfriend of Courtney Cox. I got that right, right? Honestly, I mostly only remember the episode where he admitted being the one that peed on Monica’s jellyfish sting.
Sincerely, I grieve his passing. As I grieve all who pass from this plane of existence to whatever is next. I also honor the work he did to face his demons and to share his light. He used his platform and creative gift to write a play (The End of Longing) that he intended to inform and inspire. He also wrote a memoir which tells the sordid tale of his struggle with addiction which at the time touted 18 months of sobriety.
I’m really not interested in the details of his death. I’m guessing those who gobble up celebrity gossip, crime mysteries, and conspiracy theories might be more inclined. Nothing wrong with those things, I’m just not into them. Rather, I’m into beauty and anything that might inspire people to break free and find inner freedom.
So as someone who has been through the gauntlet of divorce and the death of a vocation I loved and saw as my identity, I want to echo Matthew Perry’s deeper message. Yes, Chandler was hilarious. Yes, Friends was a great show that entertained. Yes, Matthew Perry knew how to make people laugh. And also, yes, Matthew Perry was a human. One with a shadow that he struggled facing and detaching from. He found fame. Or perhaps more accurately, fame found him. And it changed his life. Is he really that different from you and me? I assert that he was not. What makes me admire him is not his comedic timing or his boyish good looks. Instead, I applaud his efforts to face himself, to look in the mirror, and to use his gift to communicate to others the knowledge he was discovering.
To you, Matthew (not Chandler)! As a fellow sojourner of life and passionate pursuer of truth, I honor you.